point blaNK

It was dawn. But he woke up way too early and was scanning for any signs of day light. Finally came the sun.  His throat was dry.  His eyes were not half close, not red and were not tired from sleep.  They were wide open and fresh.  His legs were tired and his back was aching. He wished only one thing for the last four hours.  Why cant I lose my ability to think when I cannot put them in creative mode?  His thinking had helped him for a lot for self destruction.  He was broken down to pieces, looked like a skinny bag of bones and had started behaving erratically.  He quickly got up to take a glass of water.  He was looking through the window of his kitchen at the city skyline slowly shaping in the light of dawn.  He was now staring at that sight with the empty glass in his hand.  He went back to bed and shut his eyes.  Visions of people harassing him, using him, teasing him and not giving a damn about him was randomly flickering through non existing scenes in his mind.  He had developed the art of putting together things in a very bad way.  He decided it was time for him to stop.  If they can do it, he can do it.  He decided it was time to get up and look at what  would happen if he started to become the predator and not the prey anymore.  If he doesn't have any respect for him, who else would.  even if they did, how would he recognize.  His sense of pride vanished long back.  He was proud about who was and that made him happy.  Now he isn't that anymore.  He is who he never wanted to be and who he was laughing at, all this time.  He started writing

"When I am confused, I cause chaos to the people around me
to see if their confusion clears mine but it alarms me.  I kinda enjoy it.
When I feel hurt, I hurt the person responsible to see if they feel the same pain
No matter how much they are hurt, it is never enough.  I still feel hurt.  And I know it is tough
When I am used upon, I am used upon and nothing can stop it except me and I don’t know how to, so I try to enjoy it and again feel hurt.

In the end I have to accept that I am the one whom I was laughing at all this time."

GO PANTHER GO. PLEASE

This post is just an attempt to correlate an unwanted thought to a pink panther. The pink panther does not resemble any real living pink panther.

GO PANTHER GO!!!! I MEANT PLEASE GO!!!

A sudden realization can send the chill down your spine and take the strength of your knees.Yeah. You guessed it. You are in a complete turmoil because you just realized something terrible.Really Really terrible. You never wanted that thought at all.  And now you just want to slip away quietly from those thoughts and just SLEEP  but alas! "Don think of a pink panther for one minute."  What were you thinking of? Lemme guess. A naked pink panther for the whole one minute? Bravo Senor! You wipe your face as if you were profusely sweating and grab your hair like you desperately wanted to see your scalp.  You toss and turn in bed as if (oh come on, you don't expect me to put up similes everywhere right?).  You unlock the key pad on your phone and run through the menu and again lock it.  Now you sit up, look at the ceiling fan for 3 seconds.  What were you thinking for the three seconds?  The same fucking panther in its pink skin. How so pathetic? You just need to shout out loud for once so that you could get the panther out of your head.  But that's just an excuse that you couldn't get him out even though there was a chance, cause if you were planning to shout in the middle of the night in a jam packed apartment, you would get your ass kicked. So that was just a lie to convince yourself that there is still a way out.  The fact is "THERE IS NO WAY OUT DUDE." The panther is still smiling at you (romantically or sarcastically, but that doesn't matter does it?) Now you surrender to the fact that it will remain in your mind as long as you do not want it.You viciously pant like a dog trying to get your brain all dizzy in an attempt to blur the image. Coupled with bulging your eyes wide as if they were two golf balls popping out (or pooping out, ahchoo whatever!!!)  You spread your hands and legs wide apart and again look at the ceiling.  You are crucified to the panther in your brain dude.  You swiftly get up and walk around the house careful not to step on your snoring friends slapping mosquitoes off their hands and feet or wherever the mosquito is. The good news is you are not the only one awake.  There is stilll the dancing pink panther by your side. HIP HIP HORRAAYYYY!!!!!. And FINALLY you cry.... Good night you sleeping losers.....