terribly confused

It's good to be left alone. Secluded from the rest of everything else that make up your surroundings.  You sit quietly in a corner and watch everyone else do their thing.  They all do their part to become a part of the surrounding.  They are just trying to get noticed by someone they may or may not know.  It was never in your mind not to be a part of it but you just wanted to see how helplessly insane they were acting to get attention.  If only for a moment they paused all activities and thought what that attention could actually bring them, they wouldn't mercilessly drown themselves in their pathetic attempt to get noticed.  You just sit there with a faint smile in your face and the best thing is, no one noticed you. After all, you wanted not to be noticed.  It is like having protected yourself from the rest of the world with a shield.  No one knows what is going on inside but can just see a smile on your face occasionaly.  You see the targetted, the kingmakers and the rest who come in one big, godforsaken category for which I cannot find a name.  It doesn't really matter to have a name for a group of people who have no idea where they are getting pulled into.  All the fake, synthetic shit which is plastered around them, dominates them like puppets and they are filled with utmost joy.  Amidst all this, you silently watch to see if there is someone else like you but you just can't find that someone and then you are desparate, you start to rate them on a scale of your own and try to choose the one who tops the list.  But things change.  So do humans.  Life takes turns to screw up your already fucked up system. Nobody craves for that change, but it happens, and for a split second people come to your state of mind and quickly escape the terrible sequence you just got pulled into.  Only then you realize how lucky they got and why you were sitting there in the corner watching them helplessly like an old beggar lady without even a stick.  You then realize you just made up your mind to visualize how people would look in the eyes of the others as being HELPLESS.  Firstly, they wouldn't want to notice you and second, if they did notice, they wouldn't give a shit. You know right? That "what the fuck is he?" look on their face when they see you.  Yeah, you've seen it a lot more times, so you shoot that look right back at their faces like "why the fuck do you care".  You do all the things you wished you could do to them in your head and walk away with a sense of satisfaction as if you actually did it.  Being normal is like being dirty.  Try to be the real you and you are crowned a pyscho shithead.  You only wished your dreams would come true but quickly realize that you dont actually know what you wanted.  The things that seemed so important one moment would vanish into thin air the next second.  You are squeezing time from a virtually hectic schedule to think what you have to actually think about and they have all the time in the world to play, laugh and take life as a gift.  Only now you start to think if you should be ashamed of yourself, or put the word 'fate' for your lines in your forehead.  In the end, all you do is curse, curse, curse and curse with a free set of sad disillusioned eyes that comes along with your special package of life to enhance your cursed and confused soul.(sorry...this had to end on a negative note). Good day.

the lonely girl

She was walking down the lonely dusty road embraced by trees and flowers on both sides. Singing her favorite tune and feeling the gentle breeze filled with the scent of flowers caressing her face. She felt like the loneliest soul in the world. A soul that was lost and wandering hopelessly for love, affection or whatever. Searching for another soul that could understand every single word she said. But she couldn’t find one. Instead, she found the pleasure in talking to the trees and the small living creatures which would never intentionally harm a soul. She would bring her lips close to the trees and whisper what no one cared to listen. The trees were really old, humble and patient and were real elders. They would hear everything she said and give her the shelter and the music of the rustling leaves which would take away her burden and lighten her soul. The butterflies and the birds would fly around her, not for the nectars but to see her smile. Everything around her made her feel she was the happiest girl in the world, but the thoughts that this was not going to last for long kept pinching her heart from behind. But she soon should have realized that love and affection does not come from a confined and hidden source. It was everywhere. Nature and God intended harmony and harmony alone. The earth would have seen billions and billions of years of harmony if humans hadn't existed. She should have found that out that day. She didn’t. She kept searching everywhere when love was all around her. You couldn't blame her. She was a part of the society living threatened under illusions that clouded their very basic ability to think free. Hmmmm... Anyways, she had the guts to think that the trees would hear her, the breeze would sing along with her, and the birds would enjoy her eyes when she smiles. Life was meant to be simple, very simple. Humans were supposed to go with their instincts. They were supposed to fear nature, not themselves. Instead, the people who work along with nature are the ones who are pointed out as incapable, lost, foolish and depressed. In a world so bent, people who call others mad and laugh at them are the ones who really need some tightening. I am not pointing out a specific set of people. You will understand. Hmmm. As for the girl, she was meant to be happy all her life and deserved the best. I can’t help think how she can’t live happily in the later years. She will, and anyone who is brave enough to search, fail by neglecting and searching again will find it. They are the ones who will know what happiness really is.

the lonely shores...

 

THERE is a pleasure in the pathless woods,

There is a rapture on the lonely shore,

There is society, where none intrudes,

By the deep sea, and music in its roar:

I love not man the less, but Nature more,

From these our interviews, in which I steal

From all I may be, or have been before,

To mingle with the Universe, and feel

What I can ne'er express, yet cannot all conceal. 

 - Lord Byron, (George Gordon)

         And I thought I was getting terribly depressed with these thoughts. Funny, I can't segregate myself based on these kind of thoughts anymore. I have felt the rapture on the lonely shores. More like a portal to a different place, as simple as that.  But I felt it most when I had a chance to go there in the middle of the night. It was plain ecstasy.  Others looked at me with bizarre bloodshot eyes. “You could have ended up in deep shit” they said. I dont understand. How deeper can this shit hole get? They are deeper than me and I am only trying to get out and they felt that I get into deep shit. Hmmm. Never really been on the pathless woods (i meant alone). And the music in the deep roar of the seas – that is real. That is truth. Have you ever did this? Go to a lonely beach, lie down on your back for a while, keep your ears on the sand and hear the cracking waves approaching your face. How sweeter can music be? The waves going back, I assure you, will pull away all your memories. Crushed under the weights of trillions of tons of ocean waters. I always shout, “Look at my wet, naked bitch moving her body. I am going to be all over you now.” She wouldn't care. She always greets me with her smiling waves and sweet music. And talking about mingling yourself with the universe, I connect myself through stars.  An interconnected, chaotic network designed efficiently by, hmmm...who cares, to transport your thoughts to the cosmic bodies, if that is where you wanted them to reach.  Oh, and if you were wondering, No...I did not want to explain those verses. Come on, I aint good enough for a Lord Byron critic.  And you know that...

where's the driver?

My friend and I decided that we join a driving school to get the damn license. ME? I really didn't want to drive. I just needed that license. At least to escape all questions under the prototype “What? You are 23 and no license?” Hmmm. I wonder how that relates. But still I had all the answers in the world to convince people “Where is the thrill of driving without a license?” and every other answers under that prototype. Anyways, we decided to pay the advance sum and start off as soon as possible. W reached the place and were waiting in his office room. And after 15 minutes of looking at the clock, the calender, the table in front of us, the baldy and the road, we were called in. My friend had already spoken to him the previous day. I am not very good in making conversations. My friend was doing all the talking and I was sitting like a dumb dog changing my sight from person to person running the conversation. From time to time, jokes would bounce out and they would laugh, and would look at me to see if I am still there at all. I would laugh too. The only thing I could do best at that time to show 'em that I was in the conversation. Now the other guy would look at me from time to time when talking. I figured out that he needed me to say something. I would think of something to say, like “When did you become bald? It must be awful to find out that you are losing your hair.” But that would be completely irrelevant. So I shut my mouth and admired the conversation which was nothing more than when to start the classes. After paying the advance, I decided to do the ultimate. I decided to talk. I asked “So how much for the bike license?” He stopped writing the bill, lifted his head and looked at my friend in slow mo and asked in Mario Puzo's Godfather style “You told him everything we talked yesterday right?” His look was nearly vicious. My friend said “YYYesss Si Sir. I did” “Goood. Goood” he said. I should have kept my mouth shut like I always do. I nearly fainted.

Day 1 Time: Monday 7:04am Location: Some crappy place in my beautiful town. My first ever attempt in driving a car. Five minutes back I was sitting at the backseat watching my friend changing gears and pushing the clutch and brakes and NOW ITS MY TURN!!!! Yey!!! I removed my slippers as per the instructions given. I was shown the ABC of the car. Every instruction was smooth until he told me this, “Today, your lesson is only the accelerator. Just speed up and slow down the car as I tell you to.” My head spun. I did it when I was 8. My dad would ask me to step on the accelerator just for fun. Why the hell am I paying to do it again? But at least I had the steering in my hand (that's a dev!!! whaddya think??). But, he slowly lifted his right hand and rested it on the steering. “WAAAAAATTTTT!!!!That ain't fair” I shouted inside. He closed his eyes before starting the lesson. He was either meditating or praying. Of course he should, If I am not supposed to use the brakes. I just hoped that he would take away his hand from the steering after his frightening meditation posture. He didn't, God was laughing hard till his stomach hurt. Horrible first day. I didn't even step on the brakes. I was a 5 year old kid driving a big toy car with elders on my side enjoying the sight saying “OH! So Cute!” No clutch, no gear and hell yeah, no steering. The day's lessons were over and when we got out my friend said, “Hey, you did well.” I sure did buddy... I stared at him “I sure did.”

Day 2 Time: Of course, It's Tuesday!!! 7:10am Location: A less crappier place in the same town. Today I was in for a surprise (or surprises!!). My friend finished his turn. I was next in line. I took a deep breath and cracked my knuckles, sweat broke out of my temples. “Will I get the steering and gear today?” I was nervously thinking. Surprise!!! He asked me to push the clutch and change to gear one. Suddenly my world was filled with light and all those beautiful colors with angels dancing by my side. I smiled and no one could have been happier than me. The bigger surprise was I changed the gear by controlling the clutch with such ease. Of course he guided me through the gear shift. He asked me to speed up and so did I. But his hand wouldn't let go off the steering. It didn't matter, at least I got the clutch, the brakes, the gear and the boring accelerator. I changed to second gear and third and fourth, all without a hitch. I had mastered the art of clutch control and brakes on my very first attempt. Hell, he even made me use the horn (OK! I got a little weird on that one. Sorry!) Just when everything was going smooth, something was about to happen which would make me face the inevitable truth. A kid jumped into the road. Yes, this is my chance to prove myself and save the day. It all depended on me. I had to react swiftly and apply the brakes and save the kid. And even before I could finish thinking these superhero thoughts, the car stopped and the kid was saved. My instructor quickly shifted to the first gear and asked me to step on the accelerator. WHAT THE HELL???? I didn't apply the brakes and how on earth could he have changed gears without stepping on the clutch. I asked him the same and was expecting some really bad news. He politely replied me for the first time “I have a brake and clutch on my side son. I was controlling the brakes and clutch from my side all the time”. SURPRISE!!!!!!!!! He was doing it the whole time and I only had the accelerator. God must have fell down from his chair laughing hard.

cry baby cry

This hasty little post goes to one person in particular.

Disadvantages of crying:

·         Makes you feel weak

·         Your eyes turn red and you look ugly. ( I look as if I'm drunk.)

·         Your nose starts to run. If u have cold, things could go from bad to worse to even worse.

·         It drains all the vital water from your brain (if you really do care).

·         The tears taste salty (like sweat from your eyes..YUK!!!).

·         The whining sound is amazingly irritating.(the noise generated by the girl next door is supersonic.  Squeezes your ear drums.)

·         You feel really bad after the crying process is over.  You feel that you never should have cried.

·         Crying is jus like smoking and drinking.  It doesn’t solve the damn problem.(OK>  I shouldn’t have compared crying to something so divine.)

·         Your make up is gone (for girls).

·         You make up really ugly faces in hopes that people won’t actually recognize that you are crying (for boys).

·         Your enemies watch you in ecstasy.(You definitely don’t want them to be happy, right?)

·         After the process has begun, if u think u just overdid it, you are doomed.  No turning back. You have to make sure you have to come up with a really good reason while on the crying process. (It takes a lot of practice. But achievable.)

·         CRYING SUCKS / DON’T CRY / SAY NO TO CRY – Bullet Point

PS:  It is mandatory that you have a kerchief, else you are doomed. (Disclaimer: A kerchief can only minimize the effects of crying and cannot completely nullify the effects.)

Advantages:

·         Why?  So you can have a reason to cry???

as easy as a poem...

vokay..vokay....now I was working on this multi dimensional poem...I was stuck like a stopped clock...the poem didn't move beyond the first 10 verses...had no idea on wat was to come next..of course..that was the damn concept of the poem...but I was blank...the eleventh line didn't turn up...sooo...i decided to bring in a girl into the whole scene...woooooop...lines came flooding...imaginations ran wild...metaphors, similes and every organ of a poem came alive...Amazing ...huh? wen you bring a girl into the whole concept..its easy...and yes..it is adulteration..the concept is dirtied...but who gives a shit...i need verses...i need pages...i need the damn poem...

:(

i was writing the best post of my life...power cut and my back up didnt work...everything's vanished into thin air...must think hard to get back the same words

in my mind right now

i dont feel like writing...just need to scribble the voice inside my head on a piece of paper... y give me the interest but deny me of my opportunities...i screwed up today...i didn't mean to say that...i did but not in the sense in which you took it...i am back to the times where i saw myself helpless...i acted numb at times i should have reacted...am like that again...all i want is to see a happy face...nothing else...but at times i see the cold glaring eyes even though they don't really glare at me...its like i can see wats inside...am i responsible for it...damn...i need 3 lac in 3 months...or i should be 22...am i happy that i cant achieve it...it is a tough path anyway...it might lead to glory but the path is tough...i love to sit back and relax...but i have big dreams...but the dreams will remain dreams...perhaps i am ignoring the opportunities...am i in the midst of all those noises that obstructed the sound of the knock of that opportunity...or was i busy shouting about no one knocking at my door...did i miss it or was i denied of it...am i filling up the cup thinking how to empty it...why are these thoughts coming to me over and over again...i feel my mind has become a whore...impure and adulterated with things that haven't helped me so far...things are just getting worse every time there seems to be a hope of something good...every morning i wake up and hope for the worst...everything seems kinda good that day...am i happy in my negative energy...i might be..........................TCNQ9G93SAA7

Dont you ever call a man "an animal" to disgrace him...

A female leopard hunts a pregnant female baboon. While the leopard was dragging the baboon, the baboon delivers a baby. Leopard leaves the hunted mother and starts taking care of the newborn baboon. Watch this amazing video from National geographic.

Length: 4:58

When the necessity is nasty...

Is it the greed for money or the greed for power? Either way the greed never stops. Some people were told the wrong things and they start to believe that what was told is right. Not exactly right, but sometimes they know that it is wrong but strongly believe that it is what is applicable or practical in this world. I know that I tend to curse mankind and life in most of my posts very often but it is because I start to see the cruel yet accepted characteristics of the present. People say that it is how it works or else you can’t survive. "Survival of the Fittest". How amazing? 4 words that describe the very basic need to live and is everything one needs to live. The parameters may change but the characteristics we have to develop to achieve those parameters remain the same. You can freeze time with reference to those parameters. Leaving them aside, there is a whole larger group of things or people who are considered weak because they are the ones who work hard to stand by for what they believe and can see even the most subtle aberration from those beliefs that the world is claiming to be the so called “basic necessity.” Now the weak cannot afford it at any cost. They can only sit back and watch the Drama cursing the performers and pretending to be a part of it. They curse because they know that they cannot be a part of it because they have to change to be a part of it. And they pretend because they would like to see themselves as the centre of attraction at least for once (a bubble reputation will do fine for them.) But all that happens is they get beaten up so bad again and again that they find out they are no longer learning but are failing miserably. Whereas the ones who do what they shouldn’t are going where they shouldn’t. The place which the weaklings think are reserved for them is crowded and overflowing, but not with them. They will only hope for the change and that change will occur if they strongly believe in it and direct them towards it. The change will come because life never deviates from its very basic principle "Happiness." Yeah, that is just one word and is applicable to everyone who really needs it. If you really need it, you will get it. If you still didn’t get it, you didn’t need it bad enough.
The more explicit version of this post is in my other blog. And that is for me… …Bye…Take care..See you in my next dark and gloomy post.

The Story Of Circles

A post I wanted to write long back but didn’t want to write it down due to some reasons. I was thinking of a way to write it in a form of a story. But I couldn’t frame characters and names. This is the story of circles. The post is not exactly a story but is my way of seeing invasions. When someone is born, they obviously enter the dreaded world, and he/she is given one powerful weapon. Now the thing is, some people don’t know that they have this weapon, some discover it very late, some never discover it and some see it very soon. Now the fact is that this weapon is invisible and so powerful that it could determine the path of a man’s life. For those who wonder if I am ever going to say what that weapon is, it is a circle.

Another one

Hi,
Created a new blog for me. Only for me. Guess I could not write anything personal in this blog any more. People are coming to wrong conclusions on reading the posts. The other blog is only for me. Will keep posting in this blog also.

Sorrryyy

Sorry for not posting anything recently.
Am having a really tough time.

Save Our Tigers - 1

The forth coming posts will be dedicated to the endangered tiger species in India. I will try to give out as much information I get from the internet, just to make sure you know about this spotless charm of nature and how fast it is nearing its days to extinction. I will try to publish the sources from where the facts were taken. This post and the forth coming few is just my attempt to spread the news. Its time we save the remaining 5 sub species of tiger from 8. Three sub species are completely extinct. The Indian Bengal tiger is facing its days. Hope you guys read the post and spread the news and make sure every one is aware of this decimated beauty.
1) Tigers are the largest members of the cat family and are renowned for their power and strength.
2) Tigers have been classified by scientists into eight subspecies: Indian (or Bengal), Indo-Chinese, Sumatran, Amur (or Siberian), South China, Caspian (extinct), Java (extinct), and Bali (extinct).
3) Tigers are found in Bangladesh, Bhutan, Cambodia, China, India, Indonesia (Sumatra), Laos, Malaysia, Myanmar, Nepal, North Korea, Russia (Far East), Thailand and Vietnam.
4) Tigers are at the top the food chain, and are one of the most culturally important and beautiful animals on this planet.
5) Now for the most gruesome fact. Possibly as few as 3,200 tigers are left in the wild.
6) Don’t scold me, but you should know this. The binomial name for tiger is Panthera tigris.
7) The genus Panthera includes the following four big cat species, tiger (Panthera tigris), lion (Panthera leo), leopard (Panthera pardus) and jaguar (Panthera onca) that are capable of roaring. These big cats possess thickened vocal folds below their vocal cords and a roar is produced by vibrations of these folds.
8) The roar of a tiger can be heard more than a mile away. (1 mile is 1.61 km!!!!)
9) “Saving the tiger is a test. If we pass, we get to keep the planet.” – Conservationist Marjorie Stoneman Douglas.
10) Tigers live in a diverse array of habitats such as tropical rainforests, mangrove swamps, evergreen forests, grasslands, savannahs, and rocky areas.
11) Tigers are capable of penetrating deeply into their prey because of the large gap between the carnassials (back teeth) and the canines hold prey tightly.

12) The facial area of the tiger has numerous sensory neurons that can detect even the slightest change in air pressure when passing by an object.
13) Tigers are usually solitary in nature, interacting briefly only for mating purposes and occasionally to share their kill. However, there has been a few rare instances documented in which tigers have collaborated on a hunt, similar to a pride of lions.
14) Tigers are powerful swimmers, capable of traversing lakes and rivers.
15) Tigers assert and maintain their control over their territories by continuously patrolling them.
16) Females reach sexual maturity around 3 to 4 years of age and males mature at about 4 to 5 years of age.
17) Tigers usually begin their courtship by circling each other and vocalizing.( Courtship is the traditional dating period before engagement and marriage(in human’s case :).)
18) Both male and female tigers may have several mates over their lifetime.

References:
http://fohn.net/tiger-pictures-facts/
http://www.worldwildlife.org/species/finder/tigers/index.html
http://animals.nationalgeographic.com/animals/mammals/bengal-tiger.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tiger#Subspecies
http://www.seaworld.org/animal-info/info-books/tiger/

Will get back to you with more information on my next post. Any points you want me to share in my post, I will gladly do. Please comment them if you can, so that I don't leave out any valuable information. I will be focusing on every aspect in each posts. Bye bye. See ya. Oh, and almost forgot to mention another fact. There is this thing called Tiger Years. Tiger Years are third in the cycle and recur every twelfth year. People born in a Tiger year are called Tiger people. Tiger people are sensitive, given to deep thinking, capable of great sympathy. They can be extremely short-tempered, however. Other people have great respect for them, but sometimes tiger people come into conflict with older people or those in authority. Sometimes Tiger people cannot make up their minds, which can result in a poor, hasty decision or a sound decision arrived at too late. They are suspicious of others, but they are courageous and powerful. Tigers are most compatible with Horses, Dragons, and Dogs. The tiger years are 1914, 1926, 1938, 1950, 1962, 1974, 1986, 1998 and 2010. See if you are one of the tiger people.

Have you ever felt this way?

We were on a trip to this hill top called Ponmudi. We expected green all over the place but were let down. We picked up a place on the hill, sat down, then found ourselves a spot to lie down amidst the dry grass. We started talking about things. I slowly moved away and found myself another spot, not that I wasn’t interested or tired, but just felt like isolating myself. Now this spot was good. If I opened my eyes, I could see great distances (the mountains). My mind was full, overflowing with things that I didn’t want. They were still chatting. The sun came down and all of a sudden the climate was amazingly perfect but they decided to leave. I waited for them to leave so I could come last alone. When everyone left, it was the best experience ever. Never in my life had I experienced such silence. Not a zephyr, so the grass didn’t move a bit, but the climate was cool. I looked as far as the eye can look and not a single person in sight. For about 7 seconds, my mind did not think of anything (yeah, I know it’s hard to believe but it did happen). I mean , for a guy like me who loves to let my mind wander wherever it please, this was different. I was isolated from the rest of the world and my mind was as if nothing had happened in the past 23 years. A few more minutes and I believe that I could have found the answers to most of the questions that kept bugging me. You can try the same. I’m dead sure I’ll never get that feeling again but I wish I do.

Happiness of Immeasurable Purity

Here is a very small list of things which can give you happiness of immeasurable purity. I haven’t done all of them. But still, I wish I could fulfill every one of them soon enough.
1)Try to create your favorite shapes from stars on the clearest night sky.
2)Watch the sun rise melting the morning mist, while you sip on your cup of tea.
3)Lay down on your back on a lonely windy beach when there is a slight drizzle, and look at the waves getting ripped up by tiny drops of rain.
4)Take her to your most favorite place on earth (the one you have already been and when no one is around) and say how much you love her.
5)Recognize every next step you take to reach out for your dreams.
6)Try to make a baby smile at you. That smile is not fake. It is the purest form of smile on earth
7)5 minutes of extreme silence and darkness when you need to escape the torturing, painful routine.

G.I.JOE - My Sympathies

This is my review on the movie G.I.JOE - THE RISE OF THE COBRA
1)Could have provided food for the needy with all the money wasted on the movie.
2)Terrible dialogues throughout. The movie was consistent on that part.
3)Out of context slow mo’s through out the movie.
4)Amazingly retarded graphics.
5)Why do they use voice synthesizer for no particular reason?
6)A highly predictable movie from start to stop.
7)Towards the end, the movie won’t stop.
8)Can only pray God that there won’t be a sequel.
9)T E R R I B L E
10)T E R R I B L E
11)T E R R I B L E
12)I hate my GI JOE Toys now... :(

Friends? Orrrrrrrrrrrrrr??????

Hi. I was just starting to think. Is friendship a word that faces constant degradation nowadays? Well, I don’t really know, but it just seems like it. I mean, how long does it take for two to say “I Love you.” Obviously not on first sight, not after a 5 min conversation, it takes about months at least (except in the movies where the heroine has to say OK because she was asked to say it). When two people speak for about 5 min and meet the next day, they claim themselves to be friends. Wow, is friendship that easy? Amazingly retarded. When you talk to someone, you only know him. If you meet someone from your office, he’s only your colleague. Friendship is way more deep, way more intense, and sparks instantly after a long time. You no need to have “like thoughts” to be friends. Sometimes the difference in opinion is the catalyst for a great friendship. IN fact, like the universal truth, like always repel. Yeah I know, that was stupid. Back to the point, what I am trying to say is doesn’t friendship need it’s share of time to build strong like every other relationship takes. Yeah, social media got those words, buddy and friends, but does it really mean it. It is just like this, if I can remember the names of all the people who studied with me in high school and college, I can claim them to be friends. Wow, can’t even count the number. Since when did I become Mr. Popular (for your kind information, a Mr. Popular never gets true friends, the only thing that movies can depict correctly). And since when did friendship become so easy? It really starts to hurt people who take friendship as serious as love(not in some other sense, if that’s what struck you). The time will come wen you cannot differentiate friends from someone else. If someone can talk to a lot of people, he’s considered social. And I needed to write a post on that too, will be doing it soon. OK…I’ll wrap it up. A known person and a friend are not the same. It wasn’t meant to be. When a real friendship breaks, the pain is harder than an ice cold rock. And the bond is warmer than the core of the earth. FRIENDSHIP ROCKS as long as IT IS REAL.
And for those who need some songs that best describe the loss of your loved ones.
1) The Fray – How to save a life.
2) Puff Daddy – Every Breath you take.
3) Guns N Roses – November Rain.
4) Bill Withers – Ain’t no sunshine.
5) Pearl Jam – Last kiss.
6) Green Day - Wake me up when September ends.
I like to hear November Rain personally , but I don’t know if it was written for that. Anyways, if you need some more songs, just ask. Ready to help ya……..

It just ain't me

It just ain't me…It just ain't me for the last two weeks… feel totally fucked up... Don’t have any particular reason, but completely out of mind.... not able to work... AM not able to concentrate. It happened 7 years ago wen love struck. But this time it ain't that. Something has gotten into....feels like possessed by something. Wishing to know wat that was.....mind is stuck in the middle of nowhere...been doing things which I have never done in my life....Everything done in the last 2 weeks is against the very basic principles I live for....Feels like in the brink of madness...can only shout HELP inside...desperately need help.....need to abide by the principles. Its the only thing that I live for at the moment.

La Vie Est Belle (Life is Beautiful)

When you look back at the past 20-30 years of your life and pick up all the remnants of memories residing in you and find out that you did nothing, then you have begun to realize that you are here for a purpose. What may seem as accomplishments to others may be nothing to you. You were happy that you succeeded at that time, but in the long run, it did not give you shit. You begin to realize that all your life, you’ve been living for others to talk about you. The happiness you had at that time seemed to be everlasting but disappeared without notice. Or shall I say “vanished into thin air”. To those who feel this way, well, there is nothing you can do about it. You can sit and cry for wasting the precious past which can no longer be bought back (unless there was a time machine). But just remember, if you cry today for the past, all you can do is to cry tomorrow for today. The average life of a human is about ummmm, ok, assuming 70 years. You’ve still got 40-50 years. Believe me, if at all you were born in this earth (if you are reading this, then you definitely are born on earth, ok, jokes aside) , the force that created you (to some it is God, to others it is pure science, but I’ll call it the force) has something in store for you here. All you have to do is to find out what is it that makes you happy. If you think that you have no time, look at the mirror and slap yourself. The force has given you a lifetime. A life time of opportunities. This is a fast world. Opportunities don’t come knocking at your door. You got to chase them and when you find it , hug it hard and don’t let go. You will have something to remember that makes you feel happy years later. And that is truly happiness. If you listened to someone at some point and screwed your life, you can put the blame on him, but it’s your life that’s screwed. You could have lived for yourself at that moment asked and taken your own decision, in that way, if you still screwed up, you can put the blame on you.
Yes , it might be too late to realize that you wasted the past. At least you realized it. Right? But then it is painful. Trust me. It is really painful. After the realization has occurred, all you can see are the beautiful things in life which you have never experienced and you want it all at the same time but then you cannot reach out for any. As time crawls, you will get used to it and learn to experience everything one by one. Like I said, there is a whole lifetime of opportunities. This is your life. No one can spoon feed you forever. Even if they did, you will only learn the shape of the spoon. The road can only show the path, you have to walk through it, just look for the signs and you will reach your destination. If the road is crowded, create your own, life will be more fun. LIFE WILL BE MORE BEAUTIFUL.
The title means "Life is beautiful". Took it from a movie title. The picture too. A really good movie. Watch it if you get a chance.

Forever

Was written years back for a girl. Now it's just a bunch of words.

All I can see is vacuum when she looks me in the eye
It's Just like staring into empty space
All I can see is a curve on her lips when she smiles
I just cant get my mind of her face
All I can hear is a near melody when she talks
Cause sometimes words don't mean a thing
All I ever wanted to was to take her for a walk
Write a song for her and sing
All I can feel is the warm gentle breeze
when she whispers in my ear
And all I can do is to love her in my dreams
Not because I am mean
Not because I am numb
But because it's just me
And I'll be there for her forever.

Notification

I will be writing poems also. The ones I tore, the ones I hid and the ones I threw of as it came into my mind reminding me of taunting memories, all of 'em will bounce back. I don't care if it sucks, but will post them.

What else do you need?

Pick out a lonely spot on the beach, far from the madding crowd. You, your harmonica and your cassette player. Watch the sun just as it is ready to wet itself. Light a fag and watch the smoke curve past the line on the horizon. Now you start to notice the slight curve and realize how big the world is, or how small we are. Watch the waves coming towards you to dry you of your sorrows. Blow your Harmonica to the singing of the waves and the cool breeze, you needn’t be an expert. Play your favorite song in the player and sing along. If only you had the girl you love beside you……. Well it can happen everyday and it is free. I mean, who is gonna charge for staring at the ocean. Nature can still give us what we need. It is up to us to search it and experience it. These are the times where loneliness can be your best friend. Dude, life is short and can end unexpectedly. So why should we save the good times for the future.

Reaching Divinity

“You have a problem? Talk about it to a friend or cry out loud.” Well, I can’t think of a better suggestion than this. This was given to me by a friend. Talking about a problem to a friend? You need a lot of ingredients in that case. First you will need a true friend who is ready to be with you and listen to you even though you have decided to speak only your problems. Not necessarily a friend – he /she could also be the one you love. If you are looking for the second ingredient, there is none. Only one. Who do you consider the most luckiest person in the world? Take your time and think. OK, I know , the options are millions. I’ll give you the answer. How lucky is a person who is ugly and has no talent and no money? Yes, that was the answer. THE LUCKIEST PERSON. (OK. I will be using male gender from here on. He / She is getting weird.) He is the only person who can find the ones who like or love him for the person he is. He wont have friends because he looks like those dazzling celebrities or because he has Einstein’s brain. He has friends because they like him for who he is. Is is accepted for whatever he does. How wonderful? But ……
After all, whom can you blame? People all over the world are looking for happiness. It is good, but they are looking for happiness at any cost. When you have really good times with a friend and then slowly start whining about your problems to him after years, after a particular point he can only pretend to be concerned about your problems. Believe me, the pain that strikes you once you realize that he no longer is interested in your problems and is getting bored while you are pouring out your deepest, darkest secrets to him with all your heart is unbearable. And the fact that he was the only one to whom you would ever say them is even more gross. My advice, lose him before he walks away. That way you can take the blame. Another one of your mistakes, along with hundreds of others in the bag. That is when you have to learn to lose everything you ever wanted and attained. Try to become numb to the world’s sarcastic deeds. Friendship and love can carry on as long as happiness comes along. If a point comes where everything is sorrow and the relation still carries on, then I call it the one that touches divinity. What name can scholars give for that kind of a divine relationship? I’ll leave it to them. But that is no longer friendship nor love. That is the greatest gift anyone can get. A gift worth protecting your whole life. Or in other words, living to protect that gift. Sorry if my posts sounds a bit philosophical. But it’s just me. OK …signing off…Bye…Need to hear my heavy metal and Jazz……..